The day is finally here. I never thought it would be, but here I am at the chemo ward for my last chemo. Number 6. Chris and I have showed up with bags of goodies from Trader Joe’s for all of the nurses. They devour them pretty quickly which makes us feel good. They really deserve so much more as they are beyond caring in every way. I wish I could just package them up and take them home with me, but then that would be weird so I don’t.
Emma has made me a special sign to signify the moment. It is just the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. She is beaming with pride to give it to me, and I am beaming with pride that she is my daughter.
Our 6 hour chemo date, as Chris and I have come to call them comes and goes. There is nothing exciting to report about this one except that I did scare myself awake one time from snoring. Yes, I snored. I’m going to blame it on the drugs. I’m not sure yet if I’m happy with Chris that he let me sleep even though I was snoring or if I’m upset with him that he didn’t wake me so that I didn’t embarrass myself. Again, I will blame these thoughts on my drugs, because in all truth, he simply is amazing. And he did take me to see Jason Bourne last night, and I imagine Matt Damon snores too. So perhaps, I am really just that cool.
The nurses clap on our way out even though they know I have 7 more months of that lovely life saving medicine Herceptin to be put in to my port. They know they will be seeing me again in three weeks, but this medicine is not chemo and will not make me sick so they really are clapping because I’m done. I’m done. I really am done. We walk out. I almost feel like it’s a dream. In the elevator, time seems to stand still. I feel as though I’m in some alternate reality that can’t possibly be mine. It was so so far away, and the time passed so slowly. And yet, it did pass. It is my reality. I did it. I am done with chemo. As we head home, I know the sickness is coming, but I’m ready for it, because the light at the end of the tunnel is so close, it has hit my face, and I need sunglasses.